This Week is Picture Two

 The view from my window...

Sun:

Fog:

Contradictions

A traditional favourite of Newfoundland: Purity Brand.

These crackers are delicious, but...

"Keep in a dry place" in this province? What are they, kidding me? My walls are growing mold.

Then again... it's not very dry back home these days, either.

Snow Day/Beach Day

We woke up on Friday morning and it looked like this outside:

Not pictured: whiteouts and 100km winds

MUN was closed, and the city pretty much shut down, so we were all stuck at home. Paul had a paper due, but the deadline had changed to midnight, so he was free to spend the day with his family!

So, we did something I've been wanting to do for awhile. Beach day! We set up the living room with a tan blanket for sand, and a blue tarp for water...

added a couple of umbrellas, a bucket and some egg carton cups for shells.


A dolphin even stopped by to say hello!
We had a fantastic time, all dressed in our beach clothes. M got to wear her bathing suit for the very first time.
We had a picnic lunch on the floor, listened to the Beach Boys and generally just had a great day.

In the evening, G went fishing. We cut up some cardboard fish and I made a fishing rod out of a pen, string and paperclip. She tossed her line over the couch cushion and I put a little fish on it to go in her bucket.

Snow days can be pretty awesome. 

In Which I Try to Explain My Absence

So, I haven't been posting. Whoops. Who knew having two kids is hard?
Actually, if I'm going to be honest (which I try to do on this blog), I'm not doing the greatest. It's lonely out here. It sucks being so far away from friends and family. Many things are still really unfamiliar about St. John's and that can get me down.
Basically, I have my good days and my bad days.

The Bad: 

• G's temper tantrums - at least one a day, sometimes as many as five a day. Living with a toddler feels like living with a bi-polar person whose mood changes every 10 minutes. They are taking their toll on both of us. I try take the advice of parenting books and articles, but I still feel like I'm doing everything wrong.
• The potty training nightmare (I don't discuss poo online, cause I don't think people need to hear about that, and I want to give my child a bit of dignity, but let's just say - nothing is good about the stage we're in).
• Even though my children sleep well, sometimes I don't.
• Trying to find a church home we both can agree on (and trying to forget how amazing St. Margaret's was)
• There are no sidewalks. They plow the roads onto the sidewalks to create 6 foot snowbanks instead. So, if I walk anywhere, I walk on the street. If I drive anywhere, I drive around the poor people that are walking on the street. 

The Good:

• Getting out of the house every day to playgroups, Le Leche meetings, the drop-in gym, library storytime and shopping trips. 
• Meeting other people at those places, and even better, meeting people repeatedly and building a solid bunch of acquaintances with potential for eventual friendships
• It may be insanely windy and have crazy amounts of snow, but it is not -40 and I don't have to bundle my children in five thousand layers.
• Paul decided to celebrate Valentine's Day*  by leaving love notes all over the apartment for me to find. I am still finding them. 
• M is still an amazingly mellow baby. 
• We managed to take G's soother away really easily and she hasn't asked for it since.**
• When G isn't temper tantruming, she is hilarious. She makes up stories, songs and dances. And she's started asking hilarious questions like "What do aliens eat?" and "What does a crab say?" 

So, I can list more good then bad. I suppose that says something. 

*we never have, because it is a stupid non-holiday where flowers cost thrice as much and everything smells like yucky red cinnamon hearts.

**Soother Fairy - I may explain this in a later post. 

2010, Quite the Year

As we come to the end of 2010, I can't believe how much has changed this year.

At the start of this year, we were feeling like we would be moving in August to whoever accepted Paul into a PhD program. He had applied at 10 different schools, so we were pretty optimistic. It was a difficult time as the rejection letters started coming in. We had heard from almost everyone and started making alternate plans - to stay in Winnipeg, to travel, for Paul to find some temporary work -  when we finally heard from Memorial University in May. We went from "we're likely staying" to "we're definitely moving to St. John's" within the span of a week. It was an overwhelming time!
In the midst of this, we decided we wanted to have another child - a sibling for G that was close to her age. I assumed that it might take some time, but pretty much the moment we even considered trying, I was pregnant. We were (and are) thrilled, but in the future, I may plan a bit better then December!

If I could choose a word to describe 2010, it would be bittersweet. Leaving our friends and our church in Winnipeg was incredibly hard and emotional. Selling all our stuff (except what would fit in 11 boxes and 5 suitcases) was very hard, but also very freeing. It was painful to let go of our books, and those are the possessions I miss the most. We had brought together our two libraries when we got married, and had built it up over the past 6 years to over 300 books. We kept about 60.
I left my job of the past seven years with the library to move to St. John's. It was difficult to do, but it was a decision I had made years earlier when Paul started to pursue graduate work - so it's not a decision I regret, but I do miss the work and my co-workers.

Of course, this year also had the death of my grandfather, which I wrote about on this blog. I continue to mourn him, especially at Christmastime. One of the Sufjan Stevens Christmas songs that we play often this season has a line "Call your Grandma on the phone, if she's living all alone" and this year it made me cry. I have gone from three living grandparents to one in a very short time. 

In the "sweet" part of bittersweet, the birth of M was a wonderful event and as I wrote earlier, ended up having perfect timing. Being pregnant and now having a newborn has helped in fostering new friendships in St. John's. I went to the drop-in gym last week and two moms were very excited to see me with the new baby.   It has also been sweet to see the temperature in the prairies dip below -20C, while we were still sitting at a balmy +10C!
We have also found that God has been amazing at providing for us - we were shorter on money then we expected when we moved here, and somehow there were multiple small blessings to get us through. From finding a perfect apartment to our caretaker suddenly showing up with heaps of clothing for G to unexpected funds from various sources to our new church being extremely welcoming and friendly, we are in awe of how God provides and gives us more then we need.

And now, on to 2011, hopefully more new friendships in our new city, raising two girls and hopefully buying a car (and some freedom) soon.

Of Post-Partum wards, Breastfeeding and Newfoundland - a bit of a rant

Once again, a disclaimer to this post: I am an advocate of breastfeeding. I'm not a psycho-advocate and I'm not judging those who end up using formula. But I do have opinions and these are them. Also, some might not care at all about this stuff. Fair enough, feel free not to read this one either.

My birth story hospital experience was very positive. Aside from one pushy (literally) nurse, the doctors and nurses were really supportive of my choice to be natural. However, the post-partum stay was not quite as positive. For some reason, the hospital here is kinda stuck in the dark ages. In Winnipeg, they have these beautiful LDRP (Labour, Delivery, Recovery, Post-Partum) rooms, so you don't have to change rooms when you're in labour, rooming in with your baby is automatic (and the only option) and all of the nurses are trained lactation consultants who teach new moms how to breastfeed.
Here, not so much. I was in a room with four other beds - luckily only one roommate (there were three of us for a few hours at one point). There was quite a bit of pressure to put my baby in the nursery for the night, and the nurse in the morning was "shocked" that they let me keep her with me for the night. I am a strong believer in bonding after birth and there was no way I was going to let them take her away just to bring back every 3 hours to feed. I wanted to see my baby when I wasn't pressured to feed her! The best part was there was a big sign on the wall about how rooming in was the best way for mother and baby to bond and to get breastfeeding started. It's a shame the nurses don't read that sign!
Since I had breastfed G, I had very little trouble this time, so I didn't need much help from the nurses. I hated having to share a room and just wanted to get home, but I was okay in most respects.
However, the other woman in my room and the treatment she received made me realize why Newfoundland has the lowest rate in Canada of breastfeeding moms.
First of all, she was completely ignorant of breastfeeding to start with, so obviously the education needs to start prenatally. She assumed that since she didn't leak milk in pregnancy that she couldn't breastfeed at all (that's not how it works for 90% of women), so she was surprised when her daughter latched on and she was told she could breastfeed. However, she was not given any decent instruction in the hospital and by the time she left, she had fully decided to bottlefeed. I put the blame almost entirely on the nurses and the clear lack of education in the hospital.
The first nurse she had asked if she had "taken any classes" or "read any books" on breastfeeding, and when she hadn't, the nurse indicated that she might have missed the boat.
The overnight nurse offered to take her daughter to the nursery and she accepted, and when she brought her back to feed 3 hours later quickly asked "Should I just give her a bottle or do you want to nurse her?" Given these options, she asked "Oh, can I do both here?" and the nurse said she could, so she chose the bottle for the night.
In the morning, the next nurse asked her what she had decided, saying "Well, we don't pressure women either way, but if you bottlefeed we won't have to worry about bringing your baby to you every 3 hours and making sure you're properly feeding her." When the woman said she was thinking about bottlefeeding because her daughter was "so big" (at less then 8lbs) and "didn't seem like she was getting anything", the nurse made no effort to correct her about when milk comes in. The final nurse was the nail in the coffin of breastfeeding. She killed any chance of this woman choosing to breastfeed instead of giving formula.

It killed me to listen to these exchanges. I didn't have the guts to speak up, but I wonder if I should have. She went from "maybe I'll breastfeed after all" to "Heck no, formula is better" in the span of 24 hours.

I think this post is long enough, so... Coming Next: The First Days were Yellowy

The Birth Story

After a week and a day of having a newborn, I have some time to write out the birth story of M. If you don't want to read about dilation, contractions and a natural birth I suggest you don't read this. You have been warned.

So, I started having braxton hicks (false contractions) on Wednesday (Dec 1st) evening. I didn't have these at all with G's birth, so I thought it might be labour. However, they went away, only to return every evening for the next 3 nights. They were really irregular and didn't get worse, so I knew it wasn't labour.
On Saturday, my mom was due to arrive here in St. John's. Her flight was delayed from the 4:30pm to 12:30am. I went to bed at 10, then got up to greet my mom at 1am, thinking that the light contractions I felt were just more braxton hicks. With my mom settled in the living room, I went back to bed, only to find that I had trouble settling, as the contractions started to get more intense.

 [a slight digression] Actually, from here on out, I should mention that I didn't actually call them contractions. In (the wonderful) Ina May Gaskin's book on childbirth, she mentions that calling them rushes or waves can help in how we feel them. Contractions is a very medical and loaded term, and makes us think of pain. So, Paul and I were calling them rushes for most of the time I was in labour. [end of digression]

I drifted in and out of sleep, but had a hard time staying asleep, so by 5:30am, I got up and got into the bathtub. Paul was awake by this time and we spent some time timing the rushes and talking about how amazing it was that I was actually in labour - on my due date, and with perfect timing so my mom could take care of G for the maximum amount of time. By 7am, we had breakfast and called our doula and by 8:30 when she arrived, I was ready to go to the hospital, since I started feeling pressure.
I was checked at Triage in the hospital and was 5cm dilated. The doctor asked me about dealing with pain and when I mentioned I wanted to be as natural as possible, he was really supportive. We were sent immediately to a room, where I got in the bath again (yay for water!) and progressed fairly quickly to 8cm.
I mentioned early on that I was feeling pressure that might be to push, so the nurse kept asking me over and over if I wanted to push. It was frustrating. I finally, with the courage of my doula, had to just tell her to back off and that I would let her know when it was time to push.
Getting from 9 to 10cm dialted took me about an hour and it was the toughest part of my labour. The rushes were extremely intense and I could not find a position that would help. But, I took a short rest, laying down between contractions, which rejuvenated me to push. Pushing was a very different experience then my first birth. With G it had been a relief, but with M it was tougher. After about half an hour of pushing, little M had arrived at 1 in the afternoon on Dec 5th, her due date. She was perfect and beautiful (in that wrinkly, slimy newborn way) and both Paul and I cried. She weighed just 2oz more then her sister did.

I am so happy I got to have my natural birth again, and so amazed at the perfect timing of her arrival.

Coming next... the post-partum hospital stay (which was not nearly as good).

In Which I Do Not Reveal the Gender of Boogaloo

We've been living here in St. John's for three months now, and every once and awhile, G will look up and say "Where is [toy we had in Winnipeg]? Other house?" I'm amazed she remembers these things she barely played with. She had a black sock monkey that I think she touched maybe twice, but I'll be darned if she doesn't keep wondering where it is. She thinks they still live back in our apartment in Winnipeg, assuming it's all still there for us to return to someday.

In other news, we had an ultrasound on Monday and Boogaloo is healthy and snuggled in there, about 5.5lbs at this point, so it's likely to be another 6lb-ish baby. We also got a look at the gender, which was pretty exciting! We've told our families and some close friends, but I think we'll leave it as a surprise to the rest of the general public... plus there's always the chance that the tech was wrong.
I'm technically full-term, so the birth could be any time in the next month or so, but I'm guessing it'll be closer to the due date, since there's still some fattening up to do.

Life without buses or a car is frustrating, but not as bad as I thought. I've only had to take a cab twice (to Drs Appointments), other then that I just walk (really slowly) everywhere. I can accomplish exactly one outing a day. The hardest thing is missing my favourite playgroup on Wednesdays, but it's just a bit far, and the homeward walk would be all uphill.
I'm hoping the transit strike is resolved soon so I can get some more stuff for the baby, but if not, I'm just going to start ordering online!

A Catch-All Update

I didn't really post last week since life got kinda crazy. But here's a few pics of what we've been up to.

G was a Monkey for Halloween.


She loved trick-or-treating. Going to people's houses, yelling "Trick-or-Treat" and "Thank-you", getting things in her bag, being dressed as a Monkey... everything was awesome to her. It was quite a nice night too, not the warmest of evenings, but not raining, which is a miracle around here!
We (very wisely) taught her before we went out that she was collecting candy to share with Mommy and Daddy, and she dutifully did. I'm sure that won't last more then a couple years, though.
All the candy is now gone. But it sure brings out the politeness in kids "Please, may I have some candy, please?" was the funniest thing she said all week.

We were also kept busy this week by the (too short) visit of Paul's parents. We finally got a chance to be tourists, with the benefit of a car to get us around.
It was amazing to see the real beauty of where we live. We went up to Signal Hill.



And looked out over the vast Atlantic Ocean. If the earth was flat, you'd be able to see Ireland from here. Paul's parents visit Ireland regularly (his dad is from there) and they were impressed by how similar Newfoundland looks to Ireland.

We took a drive to Portugal Cove, then along the coast. The most beautiful view was Middle Cove. The ocean swirled and crashed against the rocks, it was spectacular.



Paul and I were amazed that we really live here! This view is only about a 20 min drive from our apartment. It's so cool how close together things are.

With the benefit of grandparents to babysit, the two of us finally got a much, much needed date night. It was so nice to get out without a child. We went to a nice restaurant and took our time eating. It was such a yummy meal. I got mussels and steak - two of my favourite things - and they were cooked to perfection. It would have been really perfect to have a glass of wine, but C'est la vie.

Getting out and about in a car really solidified our decision to buy a car. That, and the next day the St. John's transit (Metrobus) went on strike. There are no busses running, which means we have to walk everywhere. Luckily, Paul was already walking to class, and most of my outings are within walking distance. But I hope it ends soon. Walking is a (literal) pain sometimes.

Insecurities

Wednesdays have become my favourite days. G and I go to this playgroup downtown. It's a short bus ride away and when we arrive, the staff greet both of us by name. We go into the room, which is filled with toys and crafts and lined on two sides with comfy benches. G is in LOVE with a stuffed dog and hippo that are bigger then her, so they always get first hugs. I am greeted by the smell of coffee and I pour myself a cup, heaping it full of sugar and cream, it's not that great quality, but it wakes me up and warms me. G happily plays - mostly by herself, sometimes interacting with other kids. I am free to chat with other caregivers (moms, dads, grandparents, nannies) and the staff. They ask me how I am, how the pregnancy is going. I am slowly getting to know names - kids names come easily, since they're always being said - other names are starting to become familiar too.
Many in this group are newcomers either to Canada, or just to St. John's like me. The room is warm and inviting, the talk casual and I never feel like I'm interrupting a friendship group's conversation by joining in. I'm always a little nervous at first, and tired from the lack of sleep the night before, but as more people become familiar, it is more and more comforting.
Making friends from scratch is hard and slow work. I am insecure that I'll come across as desperate, that I'll be forcing myself where I'm not wanted, that people have plenty of friends, so they won't need me. Those feelings are hard to fight. It's hard to say more then a simple "hi" sometimes - especially at the drop-in gym on Tuesdays.
But, on Wednesdays, I feel secure. I continue conversations that started last week, I remember faces and names and I am hopeful that I can build some friendships out of this.

St. John's Paul and Winnipeg Paul

Moving to St. John's is a pretty extreme change, and I'm hoping to use it as a motivation to change some things about myself -- a new context to establish new habits.

Winnipeg Paul bought pop and a snack from the convenience store at least once a week, maybe more.

St. John's Paul doesn't drink pop at all, and when he wants a snack, he chooses fruit.

Winnipeg Paul stayed up late every night and slept in every morning.

St. John's Paul is in bed by 11 every night and up by 7:30 every morning.

Winnipeg Paul watched tv when he was bored.

St. John's Paul doesn't even have a tv.  He bakes something or tidies the apartment when he finds himself needing something to do.

St. John's Paul goes for a run once a week, and he's slowly gearing up to more.  He makes the bed every morning and he doesn't go to bed if the dishes are still dirty.  St. John's Paul will always be on top of his readings, and will plan ahead so that when final papers are due he's not in a crisis.  He'll bring lunch to school instead of buying it.  St. John's Paul does evening devotionals with St. John's Jan every evening, and he won't let that peter out the way Winnipeg Paul would.

Maybe it's naive to think that moving to a new city can really make me a better person.  But that kind of negative thinking is exactly what Winnipeg Paul would say.

Also, St. John's Paul looks like this: 

A Trip Downtown

We finally took a trip downtown this weekend and were able to see the harbour and the sights of St. John's.
G fell in LOVE with these statues of a Newfoundland dog and a Labrador dog. She rode on them, fed them rocks (which is, of course, what a statue eats), pet them and generally refused to leave them. It took some convincing to move on with our day.
























We walked around the downtown pretty much all day, stopping in a few of nice shops along the way. We debated going up to Signal Hill, but decided it was too far for that day. But we did see it from the harbour.


The hills of downtown were amazing - I was reminded of White Rock, BC, but it is so distinctly East Coast as well. The houses are brightly coloured and the shore is so rocky.


It was a beautiful day and very sunny. I don't know what all this talk about rain is about - it's beautiful here! I've been reassured by several people, however, that the rain and the fog are coming!