2010, Quite the Year

As we come to the end of 2010, I can't believe how much has changed this year.

At the start of this year, we were feeling like we would be moving in August to whoever accepted Paul into a PhD program. He had applied at 10 different schools, so we were pretty optimistic. It was a difficult time as the rejection letters started coming in. We had heard from almost everyone and started making alternate plans - to stay in Winnipeg, to travel, for Paul to find some temporary work -  when we finally heard from Memorial University in May. We went from "we're likely staying" to "we're definitely moving to St. John's" within the span of a week. It was an overwhelming time!
In the midst of this, we decided we wanted to have another child - a sibling for G that was close to her age. I assumed that it might take some time, but pretty much the moment we even considered trying, I was pregnant. We were (and are) thrilled, but in the future, I may plan a bit better then December!

If I could choose a word to describe 2010, it would be bittersweet. Leaving our friends and our church in Winnipeg was incredibly hard and emotional. Selling all our stuff (except what would fit in 11 boxes and 5 suitcases) was very hard, but also very freeing. It was painful to let go of our books, and those are the possessions I miss the most. We had brought together our two libraries when we got married, and had built it up over the past 6 years to over 300 books. We kept about 60.
I left my job of the past seven years with the library to move to St. John's. It was difficult to do, but it was a decision I had made years earlier when Paul started to pursue graduate work - so it's not a decision I regret, but I do miss the work and my co-workers.

Of course, this year also had the death of my grandfather, which I wrote about on this blog. I continue to mourn him, especially at Christmastime. One of the Sufjan Stevens Christmas songs that we play often this season has a line "Call your Grandma on the phone, if she's living all alone" and this year it made me cry. I have gone from three living grandparents to one in a very short time. 

In the "sweet" part of bittersweet, the birth of M was a wonderful event and as I wrote earlier, ended up having perfect timing. Being pregnant and now having a newborn has helped in fostering new friendships in St. John's. I went to the drop-in gym last week and two moms were very excited to see me with the new baby.   It has also been sweet to see the temperature in the prairies dip below -20C, while we were still sitting at a balmy +10C!
We have also found that God has been amazing at providing for us - we were shorter on money then we expected when we moved here, and somehow there were multiple small blessings to get us through. From finding a perfect apartment to our caretaker suddenly showing up with heaps of clothing for G to unexpected funds from various sources to our new church being extremely welcoming and friendly, we are in awe of how God provides and gives us more then we need.

And now, on to 2011, hopefully more new friendships in our new city, raising two girls and hopefully buying a car (and some freedom) soon.

Hard Times

It's hard to move. I am trying to be very positive, because I know that saying "this year is going to suck" and "I'm going to be so lonely" is just a self-fulfilling prophesy. So, I'm trying to have confidence that I have the ability to make friends and find things to do.
But, I am sad to leave everyone. I've held back the tears thinking that I'll let them all out at the last minute, but I realized that I may have a total breakdown at the airport if I hold them back till then. So, I'm letting myself cry. Unfortunately, it still comes out at inopportune times. The other day, I was giving G a bath when Paul heard from the other room "Mommy sad". And sure enough, when he came, I was crying. It's a lethal combination - moving stress, leaving everyone, going somewhere where we don't know anyone and being pregnant with all the hormones that go along with that. So, giving G a bath in a tub that we'll never see again brought out the tears. Isn't that funny? It's not the big things, it's just the little routines of life that bring on the flood of emotions.

Paul tells me that I should post things like this. Be open and honest on this blog. And I think I will. I'm not going to sugar-coat the fact that this move is hard. But, I won't get bogged down by it. I will remain positive.

Clearing Out

Since it costs many, many (too many) dollars to use a moving truck to get to St. John's, we are selling all our stuff (especially furniture) and buying new used stuff when we arrive.
So, our apartment is slowly getting cleared out. This weekend was a grand purge. We took about 10 boxes of stuff to donate to Salvation Army, then the remaining (after selling about 200)100 books to a used bookstore.
Our deep freeze was sold, our comfy office chair is gone, our bookshelves have been taken away along with one of the desks and we no longer have a dresser or a nightstand. I have posted one of the couches up for sale and it will leave on Friday, but I'm nervous to put the other one up! What will we sit on?
My parents were here this past weekend and took a few things with them to live in Saskatoon for awhile. One of them was G's precious "beepbeep" - a ride on truck that was just too big to fit in. She watched it go with much confusion, but dealt with it very well when we told her it was going to live with her grandparents for awhile. Poor kid, I hope this doesn't traumatize her too much.

So, I sit here now in what used to be our office/library with no books, no office chair, and piles of boxes around me. This move is getting all too real.