It's hard to move. I am trying to be very positive, because I know that saying "this year is going to suck" and "I'm going to be so lonely" is just a self-fulfilling prophesy. So, I'm trying to have confidence that I have the ability to make friends and find things to do.
But, I am sad to leave everyone. I've held back the tears thinking that I'll let them all out at the last minute, but I realized that I may have a total breakdown at the airport if I hold them back till then. So, I'm letting myself cry. Unfortunately, it still comes out at inopportune times. The other day, I was giving G a bath when Paul heard from the other room "Mommy sad". And sure enough, when he came, I was crying. It's a lethal combination - moving stress, leaving everyone, going somewhere where we don't know anyone and being pregnant with all the hormones that go along with that. So, giving G a bath in a tub that we'll never see again brought out the tears. Isn't that funny? It's not the big things, it's just the little routines of life that bring on the flood of emotions.
Paul tells me that I should post things like this. Be open and honest on this blog. And I think I will. I'm not going to sugar-coat the fact that this move is hard. But, I won't get bogged down by it. I will remain positive.
*hug* Open and honest is best. So is staying positive.
ReplyDeleteJan, I know first hand how scary and sad it can be to move where you know no one. It's been 4 months today officially since I moved away and I still miss my friends and family and just the city of Winnipeg like crazy. But, I wanted to say that things will get better. You will make friends and you'll always have the ones in Winnipeg to count on. Isn't the internet wonderful? :)
ReplyDeleteI really wish I could be there to say goodbye in person. I know we haven't really talked for a long time but I still think about you guys and miss you. Hopefully our paths will cross again. Until then, we've still got Facebook :). -Melissa
Yeah, moving can be sad, and it can take years to feel fully at home. But lots of people do it all the time, and it's totally survivable! Just beware, you'll end up with multiple homes and you'll always be homesick for somewhere else no matter where you live. (This is my curse.)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jan. I'm glad you're letting it out whenever it hits - it's probably much better than suppressing/repressing it. I love you sis :) Lorinda
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking about you today, and thought "if I was Jan, I think I would be crying everyday for the next 2 weeks..." and then I read this! I'm glad you're being honest and letting it all out. You have every right to cry and that's what we were designed to do at times like this when emotions are to overwhelming for words.
ReplyDeleteLove you lots and think about you every day!
I think no matter how much you cry in the next four days that Monday is going to be a snotty, red-faced, ugly weep-fest. I'll go buy some kleenex from Costco.
ReplyDeleteHigh five for being so gutsy to post this.